Review – [Revisited] BioShock 2

With Bioshock Infinite due next year, I take a look back at the second title in the series.

Bioshock 2 features the same diverse art style, graphics and sound design of the original to create an amazing atmosphere as you roam the under water city of Rapture. With rich storytelling and enjoyable multiplayer, it’s a welcome return for one of the most interesting games of this generation.

Fans of the original will not be disappointed here. While the reigns of the series has been handed over to a multitude of other 2k game studios, the new team has clearly done their research into how Ken Levine with ‘Irrational games’ (System Shock, Freedom Force) created the original masterpiece, taking inspiration and also evolving the game into something that shows just how unique the world of Bioshock is.

Taking place in the underwater utopian turned dystopian world of Rapture, you traverse through many giant areas of the city attempting to rescue a girl, your ‘little sister’ as her Big Daddy. These terms may seem odd to those who are not aware of the universe this game occurs in, I shall fill you in; The world of Rapture was created by Andrew Ryan, fed up of the controlled communist world, he designed an underwater city where the brightest minds from science to literature could all live and work together productively. Soon, ‘Adam’ was discovered, a liquid of sorts, that could grant people superhuman abilities by literally rewriting their genetic code. ‘Plasmids’ were injections, hugely diverse in their applications. From cosmetics, to weapons that would allow you to throw fire or lighting from your fingertips, or even force your enemies to attack each other. Of course, addictions followed, and world took a dive into a broken society of deranged people known as ‘Splicers’. ‘Little sisters’ were created to harvest ‘Adam’ from corpses, and the ‘Big Daddy’s’ were designed as their protectors, depicted similarly to early 20th Century diving suits, huge hulking and menacing beings.

The story of the original was a rollercoaster, and the ending was especially impressive, however what made the original so amazing was the sense of discovery, this broken society under the sea, hidden from view. The sequel doesn’t quite have the same feeling of discovery as you have already ventured through the world once, however, since you are traversing through new areas, all unique and beautiful, this is not a big issue.

The story of this sequel took me a little longer to get involved with, but a number of sequences through the mid and end points of the game, featuring large set pieces and emotional moments brought it all together. In this world, Sophia Lamb is the new Andrew Ryan as it takes place many years after the original. She has the same dominant overtones, with a large influence on the environment. With all the little touches including the writing on the walls, pictures and audio diaries, these all come together to create an amazing sense of what this world once was, and how far it has fallen. Every area is filled with a huge amount of unique objects, almost as if the world hit pause when the downfall occurred, giving you the chance to pick up the pieces and see the world as how it once would have been.

Gameplay wise, this will feel very similar to the fans of the original, using the same engine and control scheme. What gives this game something new is the aspect that you play as a Big Daddy, granting you much more power and tools to use in combat. One of which is the duel wielding abilities, where you can have a plasmid in one hand and a weapon in the other, operating both independently, allowing you to approach combat in a huge variety of ways. The drill is also a welcome addition, allowing you to literally rip people apart as well as charge to stun. The main situations you encounter in the game are directly opposite to those in the original. This time as a big daddy you are tasked with defending ‘Little Sisters’ as they gather ADAM, in contrast to the original where you were tasked with killing the big daddy to get to the ‘Little Sister’. A new enemy, the ‘Big Sister’ gives you a little more challenge in an impromptu fast paced boss fight from time to time.

Each level is huge and intricate, meaning you will want to explore every nook and cranny of the great open level design as you go from area to area. Of course, the water is back, creating some impressive set pieces where the environment crumbles under the power of the flooding water. As well as being hugely visually impressive, it creates a very panicked mood, as well as the sense of isolation and being trapped in a number of occasions. The underwater walking areas are new to the series, as you now occupy a diving suit, and while they may be linear paths, they serve as a nice break from the action, allowing you to slowly plod through the underbelly of the city.

Upgrading your abilities makes a return. Using the ADAM that you collect you can upgrade your plasmids, or purchase gene tonics which act as boosts to your non-active abilities, ranging from making you better at hacking turrets and cameras, or giving you more stealthily abilities to sneak up on your enemies. The research camera this time does video; giving you the chance to improve your damage to certain enemies of even grant you with new gene tonics.

By far, the biggest contrast to the single player centric design of the original is the new multiplayer in the sequel. Developed by Digital Extremes, they took all of the mainstays from the solo game into the multiplayer arena to create something very enjoyably, complete with XP and leveling system as seen in most online shooters. Creating a unique setup and story for this mode helps settle itself in the universe, taking place before the solo games with you playing as test subjects for the plasmids. The controls here are a little more responsive, but the shooting feels slightly weaker and less powerful. The uniqueness of the Bioshock world shows itself with the plasmid use as well as the research camera, allowing you to get damage boosts over foes. While this will never reach the same levels of popularity of mainstream shooters such as Call of Duty, it does offer something a little different in the overcrowded genre.

It’s very hard to do the game justice in a written review, but you owe it to yourself to play both of the Bioshock games. The sequel brings many new additions to the table, and successfully tells another tale in the world of Rapture, and you’ll find yourself itching for more when its over, with it’s stunning design and atmosphere, as well as the sense of isolation and decay, you won’t find anything this year like it.

Film Review: Sherlock Holmes. A Game of Shadows

Guy Ritchie’s previous Holmes picture was released on 26^th December 2009, fittingly it stank of the medium grade Boxing Day claptrap that ends up on TV the day after the best day of the year. The production values, plot, direction and characterisation begged the question as to why it was playing on a cinema screen at all. But, critical and commercial success was granted upon the movie and now we have been bestowed with a sequel. Thankfully it improves upon the first film’s lack of scope, shifting from the (arguably) televisual 1.85:1 aspect ratio to a much wider 2.35:1. Newly armed with more of the bombastic, explosion riddled action sequences that made its producer Joel Silver a household name. As entertainment for the season it’s fulfilling enough. A better film certainly, but is that enough?

As Holmes, Robert Downey Jr’s bawdy verbal sparring with Jude Law’s Watson is easy enough on the ear, but it’s never a riot. Witty certainly, but will never inspire anything beyond a wry chuckle. Holmes here is not much more than a neater, dandyish version of Jack Sparrow. All eccentricity and no moderation. That said you are unlikely to tire of him, no matter how tired the shtick may be. New cast members Jarred Harris and Noomi Rapace seem bereft of good material, Rapace’s talents being the most underserved and Harris (who prior to this role, specialised in minor supporting roles in the likes of Lost in Space and Benjamin Button) lacking the gravitas needed for a villain as nefarious as Dr Moriarty. Stephen Fry is as entertaining as always as Mycroft, Sherlock’s flamboyant elder brother, but this is hardly a stretch for Fry. Still, Fry could be describing the consistency of his latest bowel movement over Christmas pudding and we’d be listening with hushed reverence.

Furthering the Pirates of the Caribbean connection, the plot here revels in convolution as mystery after conundrum is unearthed as a succession of plot points – each varying in their complexity – come to the fore. None of which register as twists or revelations, in fact the double crossing script becomes predictable as red herrings become evident from the outset. Like a letter sent from Sherlock to Mycroft, code written as bearing bad news but in fact meaning the opposite, the film is a folly of its own machinations as we become conditioned to expect the contrary to all of the information we’re given. Regardless of its convolutions the script does call for some fairly radical developments, good guys are tortured and a significant player is iced early on.

The film as a whole is a conflicted experience, in its attempts to be unpredictable it becomes predictable and Sherlock and Watson’s witty tirades are enjoyable but never hysterical. Despite these flaws, it’s competent entertainment all the same.

Film Review: Another Earth

If there is one thing to be said for contemporary science fiction, it’s the strange places and circumstances where you find it. Where Hollywood tentpoles trade sensory overload and an overabundance of audience handholding, the Indie scene has yielded some of the genre’s most unique works since the 60’s. This year has given us three similar yet divergent entries, Malick’s abstract Tree of Life, Von Trier’s nihilistic Melancholia and now the micro-budget Another Earth. Each film focused on the happenings on planet earth or greater solar events as either integral or euphemistic events in their stories. Malick juxtaposed the Horsehead Nebula with childhood; Von Trier slammed a planet into Earth as Kirsten Dunst’s Justine spiralled into depression. Another Earth’s follows both of these patterns, with interplanetary events acting as both physical and philosophical.

As ultra low budget sci-fi indies go, Another Earth’s rough edges show up in bold strokes. Shot by director (co-writer and editor) Mike Cahill at 720p throughout and often apparently without regard to correct aperture or white balancing, shots and even entire scenes sometimes show evidence of severe graininess. A tell tale sign of attempted colour correction following underlit shooting sessions. This film lacks even the polish of Gareth Edwards’ Monsters (one of the best films of 2010, intriguingly shot on the same Sony EX3 cameras as Another Earth), although the imperfections are sometimes distracting they are a quaint reminder of the ballsy, guerrilla filmmaking that brings our attention to the indie scene. Another Earth’s aesthetic reminds us of the normalcy of life on this planet, no matter how mundane. Although it is debatable in regards to the extent that this is unique anymore. True, independent sci-fi is in a renaissance but how much more quasi-Tarkovsky stylings can we expect to see before the impact wears off?

The film’s lead role is its most promising, as credited co-writer Brit Marling emerges as one of this year’s most impressive rising female talents alongside Miranda July and Emily Browning. The role of Rhoda is refreshingly unconventional without ever coming across as eccentric, but fundamentally it’s an emotionally charged performance and often a daring one. William Mapother on the other hand is sporadically engaging, but often his delivery comes across as stilted.

Another Earth has its flaws, mainly in its execution. But these technical faults will yield a learning curve in its creators in whatever projects will follow this one. Its ideas will inspire debate, emotionally it will move you, just expect it do these things in moderation however. That said, if the technical hitches can be overcome by the time we witness Cahill and (hopefully) Marling’s next production then there may be a masterpiece waiting in the wings.

Film Review: New Year’s Eve

Garry Marshall’s unwanted follow up to the pathetically odious Valentine’s Day – featuring a cast of anyone in Hollywood unlucky enough to have a gap in their schedule – not only retreads the previously employed formula of selecting a thoroughly worthless festival and implanting a Love Actually-lite multi-pronged narrative. Quickly and cheaply produced, with sub-Hallmark Channel production values and written with unimaginably low expectations of its audience. So low in fact that if one were to conjure a profile of the intended viewer, the resulting persona could only have been written by someone who holds humanity in total contempt. Made worse by the fact that the film intends to sucker you in with the promise of lighthearted entertainment. Only to pander shamelessly, fleece you and flip you the bird for being such a sap.

Obviously the film was shot alongside Times Square’s New Year celebrations in 2010, with posters for Judy Taymor’s The Tempest and Epic Mickey still on show. You’ll be confused for a while as to which New Year is being heralded. Once you realise that Times Square has been gradually digitally altered for the new year of 2012, the continuity errors become far more glaring as we lay our eyes on a billboard for Sherlock Holmes 2, as it miraculously appears in one scene to gravitate us within the current times. The neglect of continuity is one thing, the neglect of commonsense or reasonable judgement is another when your story doesn’t feature a single likeable or unique character. For example, a duelling pair of crowning mothers strive to deliver their baby before the other in order to win a cash prize. Such a predicament is a confirmation of the vapid and stupid calibre of this film’s sensibilities. The obvious outcome in which these two snivelling toads recognise their harebrained and selfish mistake is a horribly loathsome attempt at audience manipulation. Much like the inclusion of a dying, bedridden Bobby De Niro or Nurse Halle Berry rushing home to have an extra special Skype chat with her hubby, who just so happens to on active duty in the Middle East (‘let’s hear it for our plucky lads!’). The sympathy cards are dealt with its contempt for you so clearly in mind.

The writing and direction combine to produce something so insipid that it makes the work of Perez Hilton sound like Earnest Hemingway. Every line is crafted with Gossip rag-like vacuity, featuring this year’s crowning turd “may the best vajayjay win”. Or how about the countless character introductions in which the newly arrived schmuck will say something like ‘new year’s just isn’t my thing’, only later to learn the value of love at this wondrous time of year. Director/producer Garry Marshall, with his lazy camera work, shoddy blocking and lame story has succeeded in rendering himself as something beyond a witless hack. He not only has no comprehension of depth below the surface, but also struggles with the concept of surface detail.

The film is remarkably hard to watch given that it never dares to gross you out, then again this is probably a side effect of the fact that each scene is so lazily composed, and with each character and performance achieving sub-pantomime idiocy. Marshall must be a charismatic man to assemble the talent on display here. But if the film is anything to measure him by, then he fits the characteristics of a classical sociopath. An unassuming being able to wheedle his way into your trust, only then to manipulate and make a mockery of you whilst taking all he needs in your vulnerable state. Leaving you exploited, alone and humiliated. All in the knowledge that somewhere he is high-fiving himself on a chump well played. But even if this approximation is beyond hyperbolic and the man himself a ‘salt of the earth’ gentleman (who just so happens to be a sham), you can’t help but wonder what inspires him to do this. The drab sets and flat framing make this even more evident, not mention the film’s own reverence for itself. If you can stomach the obviously staged outtakes, you’ll spot the over-qualified Carla Gugino pulling two copies of the Valentine’s Day DVD and Blu-Ray from Jessica Biel’s nether regions. A cynical gag purporting to be self-reflexive, with only the intent of deliberately plugging the filmmaker’s previous work.

Hollow, overlong and utterly witless. An absolutely repulsive and pitifully saccharine exercise in box ticking cynicism in the pursuit of a quick buck. Displaying nothing short of a patronising contempt for what it wants from what it perceives as the lowest common denominator. Not only does the film think you’re stupid, it thinks you’re gullible too. The Worst Film of the Year has finally been crowned, it is granted the privilege of contemplating its wretchedness on its way to the stocks. Have your rotten eggs at the ready.

Review: Saints Row: The Third (Xbox 360)

The Saints Row series wasn’t suppose to have come this far and yet, thanks to Saints Row 2 proving that not only could Volition, Inc make a open world game that was seen as more then just another Grand Theft Auto clone but also somehow make it more fun then Grand Theft Auto IV in the eyes of some gamers and critics.

So here we are, Saints Row: The Third, which has promised us – via trailers showing the use of a purple dildo, the Genki Leisure stunt suit (as part of the Hyper Ordinary Pack if you pre-ordered the game) and the “awesome” button – to be more outrageous, brash, crude, amusing and most importantly more fun then it’s predecessor. But does it live up to that promise?

Things get off to a hectic start as what should be a simple Bank Robbery for the Third Street Saints turns out to go up shit creek, landing the saints in jail and then escaping death from the main gang protagonist – The Syndicate – via a high octane parachute set-piece. This lands you in Steelport, a place where the saints are unwelcome. But the player will make sure that won’t be the case for very long.

It’s very clear in the first minutes of playing that SR3 looks very slick. The graphics are sharper with the colours really coming out, looking more cartoony then realistic, though with the Saints Row series being a parody on gang culture, this is to be expected and even welcomed. Character models look more defined and more animated to, aspects which you can see for yourself during the fun character creation screen. Specific places have also been given a makeover, meaning stores don’t look so generic and now stand out more and cribs feels more distinct.

More surprising though is the sound has also gotten a major upgrade. Weapons have a more impact to them, vehicle crashes have that crunch and Steelport sounds more busy and alive then Stilwater did. In a nifty small touch, shops now have their own background music as well. Friendly Fire – the infamous weapon retailer in the Saints Row series – has country music playing while other stores will have music reflecting on what they sell. Even your crib and garage has it’s own theme, a catchy dance/rave ensemble. While the radio station selection may not be very numerous (there is a total of eight) the song selections – along with mocking adverts and news stories – are very decent. Best is Adult Swim/Cartoon Network’s radio station. While the OST and sound effects of SR3 won’t be remembered after a while, at least Volition have made some effort to make it an important part of the game. This isn’t more evident then with the dialogue as it is fantastic; as in that while again there is nothing memorable or emotionally great, it does give you a few laugh out loud moments and many others that raise a smirk. You’ll find it impossible not to listen to a sing-along early in the game nor not listen to the whole thing.

After the first mission, you’re free to explore Steelport and upon first looking at the map (via the much improved interface) you’ll notice it looks smaller then Stilwater. This however is to SR3′s benefit as though expansive and impressively huge, the sandbox world in SR2 could lead to many dull journeys, as you would sometimes have to travel great distances to activate the next mission, activity or visit a store to purchase necessary items. Yes Steelport feels more compact but it’s still big enough to make travelling and exploring more fun yet not too big to make backtracking a pain in the ass. It’s a perfect compromise. It’s also nice to see roads being less likely to be barren and actually find cars parked on the roadside, something that was peculiarly missing in SR2 and makes carjacking that much easier.

That said, despite a whole lot of polish, there are still some bugs. Nothing game breaking but they can still be really irritating, like being killed by carjacking due to the car suddenly getting stuck in the ground, people disappearing then they leave your sight, seeing vehicles stuck in the ground and spasming like it’s possessed or all of a sudden getting a police star when you’ve done nothing at all. And SR3 inherits the pop-up and sudden graphical glitches that were common in SR2. It does show that SR3 may have seen the series evolve presentation wise, but it still has it’s rough moments.

As stated earlier, the interface is much more improved. By pressing select, you access your phone which now has all the menus (except saving and gameplay options). So you can now access missions, assassination and chop shop activity, receive your income and fiddle around with your playlist with less hassle. This a) eliminates needless travel and b) makes the gameplay much more smoother. The exception that the map screen doesn’t have it’s own button and instead must be access through your phone which is a hassle; would have been great if the save and gameplay options were in the phone screen and the map screen was assigned it’s own button (just like in SR2).

This all helps the gameplay to be that much more brilliant and Volition have made sure that you’ll be constantly having fun.

We’ll start with the heavily hyped feature which is the “Awesome Button” (which also functions as your sprint button). With it you can hijack vehicles faster and do special takedowns that stun the enemy enough to kill off quickly with a well placed headshot. While it’s limited in what you can do with the awesome button, it never gets tiring to use, in fact you’ll become heavily reliant upon it to get things done quicker or get you out of a tight jam quickly. It’s also fun to take out a bunch of gang members with just takedowns.

Activities – which offered some of the most fun in SR2 – make a return with many from the previous game being used in SR3. These include Trafficking, Insurance Fraud, Escort, Snatch, (the dreaded) Heli Assault and Mayhem. There are some new ones as well, though most of them are a spin on old activities, With Tiger Escort seeing you drive with a tiger and build up your courage meter before the tiger mauls you to death, Tank Mayham plays just like mayham but instead you use a tank and Guardian Angel is a on-rails version Heli Assault, with you using a sniper rifle to protect one of your homies from rival gang members. There are two brand new activities. The first one is Prof. Genki, and it is the fantastic. With this activity you become part of a Gameshow (‘Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax‘) that is a mix of Takeshi’s castle and the deadly gameshow found in the Running Man film. It’s a great parody fusion of Japanese and American gameshows with some funny dialogue from the commentators. The second is one you’ll discover across Steelport and that is Gang Operations. These involve taking out rival gangs in a particular area. Once that’s done you gain control of that area, like you would if you completed an activity, mission or brought property. Assassination and Chop Shop return and they are more streamlined to make it a slightly less hassle to start and also find the vehicle.  Lastly, there are challenges, a new addition to the Saints Row series. These range from getting a number of head or nut shots to how many miles you’ve driven. They are varied and some take a lot longer to complete then others. But there is a sense of accomplishment in doing all of them and they do increase the longevity of the game.

While some may find it lazy that  Volition have recycled many of the activities and seemingly not put much effort into this aspect, at least they are still fun, with an incentive in that they are quite rewarding, tweaked so that the harder difficulties aren’t frustrating, don’t drag on for too long or just feel fun to complete.

The main part of the game, the missions themselves, are varied in their set-ups. While it mostly involves killing whoever is in your way, they are done in such a way that it doesn’t get repetitive and there are some exciting moments. You also get the bizarre happens, such as taking on zombies, participating in a wrestling match were “Your the best” (yes THAT infamous Karate Kid theme) plays in the backgrouind while you butcher luchadores with chainsaws. and going to mars. Yes the planet mars.

Completing missions and activities sees respect being earned. But in respect isn’t just a semi-useless thing, as it’s used to unlock bonuses such as upgrade your character, vheicles, weapons and guns and even your own gang members. This gives you an incentive to not rushing through the game. With some good playing and completing activities, you can gain maximum respect and become a near invulnerable gangsta death machine before your even halfway through the game! That may make SR3 less challenging to some but then that would be missing the point.

Combat is just like it was in SR2; Not great but perfectly acceptable. You get even funkier weapons this time round which does make it a bit more fun to get into firefights and melee combat and speaking of melee, it’s slightly more meaty. Also you can do melee attacks to the private regions to anyone – even females – which is a bonus and as stated, doing takedowns is always good fun when a battle isn’t too serious. Also enemies are more varied as each rival faction has their own special units, alongside the typical grunts. These range from the fast yet fragile Decker Rollergirl to the the pain in the ass Brutes, who require hit and run tactics to take down.

There have also been some nice gameplay tweaks. Your noriety can be gone just by simply going to any building you own, thus not having to rely on the sparse “Forgive and Forget” places in SR2, needless shops have been eliminated, Large neon arrows now also point your way to your chosen destination, which means less time looking at the minimap and taking your eyes off the road. It generally makes the gameplay flow that much more better.

After you’ve finished with the main campaign, there is Whored mode and Co-Op campaign. As you’d imagine Whored mode is a parody of Gears of War’s “Horde mode”, where you can choose from three different levels, each with thirty waves of enemies to get through with pre-selected weapons. It’s fine as a time waster but no more. The game dosen’t provide you any single player bonuses nor unlock anything else, so you won’t be playing it for long. Co-op allows you to blast through the campaign missions (and activities) with another person, similar to SR2. It’s another great way to extend the longevity of the game and even help you complete missions and activities you’re having trouble with.

SR3 isn’t perfect; it’s still rough around the edges and could do with a bit more polish, you wish there were more songs, more weapons… Just more of everything and it lacks a lot of truly memorable parts nor has a story that is important in the grand scheme of things. It’s not that long either if you just rush through the game, clocking in at around eight hours. But it is a very fun game that does have great moments.

Also. Burt F***ing Reynolds.

Film Review: Hugo 3D

Francis Ford Coppola’s The Godfather is about men who do terrible things in the name of family.
Martin Scorsese’s Goodfellas is about men, who do terrible things.

Martin Scorsese is without a doubt filmmaker whose skills exceed most others, there is no doubt that he is a master of his craft from the visuals, performances and the cutting of his work. Paradoxically however, for someone who’s work is seldom compared in the same breath as Kubrick’s alienating inhumanity. Scorsese knows people better than ole’ Stanley K, but his movies feel just as coldly robotic. The comparison of Hugo’s very own automaton with Scorsese’s workmanlike direction is too juicy, but it’s sadly true. That’s not to say it’s never intriguing to look at, the craftsmanship is impressive but it doesn’t offer much to the human condition.

The story, well that would depend on which story is being told here. The story of Hugo Cabret’s mysterious clockwork robot? The story of Hugo Cabret, a mysterious young boy living amongst the clocks of Paris’ Gare Montparnasse railway station. His yearning for life beyond the station walls, like a latter day Quasimodo? The story of depressed ex-film pioneer Georges Méliès and his lost classics? Or maybe the numerous subplots dotted around the station will take your fancy? The guard and his intrepid Doberman? The fair faced florist and her deceased husband? Or perhaps the romance between Richard Griffiths doddery paperman and Frances de la Tour’s tea sipping, lapdog petting café owner? Had enough? Well knuckle up because convolution and whimsical excess is the order of the day. True many of these side-shows are symptomatic of French cinema (see also Amélie and this year’s The Adventure’s of Adèle Blanc-Sec) but with an already conflicted central narrative, such reverence interferes with whatever point there was in the first place.

Not helping matters are the frequent disparities in storytelling logic. Hugo’s entrapment in the station is rendered moot when he can simply walk out the front door willy-nilly. Unlike Spielberg’s The Terminal, there’s no ultimatum. Hugo’s uncle (Ray Winstone) barely registers for less than three minutes of screen time, after that point Hugo is alone. The only antagonist being Sasha Baron Cohen’s bumbling guard (and his Doberman). The film is so earnest that any chance of a credible antagonist is scuppered (Hugo’s Uncle needed to be the Frollo to Hugo’s hunchback), so earnest in fact that it fails to establish any conflict. Yes, stories no matter how soft need conflict. Even the gleeful likes of Miyazaki’s My Neighbour Totoro and Kiki’s Delivery Service knew to infuse their stories with a central threat or dramatic crux (a hospitalised mother, a rite of passage etc). The film here has a habit of gliding through the proceedings, dovetailing into irrelevant branches (Hugo is taught slight of hand tricks, why?) and continuing resolved plot threads. A particular plot device is taken, threatened with destruction and promptly destroyed. The owner continues his quest to look for it, regardless of the fact that it is no more. Even if it wasn’t eradicated, he sure as hell never gets it back.

The much vaunted 3D, proclaimed by many as a breath of new life into a saturated marketplace is, acceptable. The separation between background, midground and indeed foreground is crisp and any ghosting is unnoticeable. Steam, prop swords, pendulums and that bleeding Doberman thrust into the camera at frequent intervals. It’s efficient, but there is rarely a sense of the medium not only be used as a storytelling medium, or even a filmmaking medium. Everything is in deep focus, depth is constantly present in the frame. Begging the question of why nobody has attempted a rack-focus in 3D? For a movie with a persistent (albeit admirable) call for the preservation of silent cinema, the conversion of Méliès’ A Trip to the Moon and the Lumière Bros’ groundbreaking Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat into 3D sits curiously between revisionism and reverence. Sure, the film dramatises the famed audience reaction, as punters ducked and shrieked as the train passed the camera. 3D is added presumably to demonstrate modern audiences into the illusion conjured back in 1896, the problem is that this film’s use of 3D is only ever cosmetic. The sepia patina and blue highlights separate the prominent elements in the frame, depth of field has been employed spectacularly since the beginning of the last century. Ironically this film – in its quest to educate the contemporary masses to the delights of silent classics Metropolis, Safety Last, Modern Times, Chaplin’s The Tramp – proves it. Thus the great Martin Scorsese has unintentionally rendered his use of the medium a gimmick ridden excercise, not to mention directing an unintentional critique on the format. Still, it looks nice though.

With all things considered, this is not a terrible film. The content is accessible for all ages, but its storytelling ability is sluggish and unfocused, dragging its feet and prolonging its 130 minute running time. Pitched somewhere awkwardly between The Terminal and Cinema Paradiso, the film has an eye for celluloid but the heart of a machine.

Review: Assassin’s Creed Revelations

So, another year brings another Assassin’s Creed to our homes. Revelations is the final chapter in the Ezio Auditore trilogy of the series and brings the fiery Italian back to us as an old man. Once you’ve sat through the customary Desmond-related tedious introduction, you’ll realise that Revelations provides much of what you’d expect if you’ve been playing since Assassin’s Creed 2. You would think then that logically, the premise should go like this:

Premise 1: Assassin’s Creed 2 was a good game.

Premise 2: Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood was a good game.

Premise 3: Assassin’s Creed: Revelations is like the previous two.

Conclusion: Assassin’s Creed: Revelations is a good game.

Well, not really. In fact, Revelations suffers badly from two common gaming syndromes caused by its excellent predecessors.

Firstly, ‘sequel syndrome’ is very much in effect here. Reviewers before me have credited Ubisoft for improving the franchise consistently since the original Assassin’s Creed. The series has got better and better but there was always a feeling that the series had reached a peak with Brotherhood and that appears to be the case. Revelations has kept much of what made Brotherhood such a great game, but it all feels a bit dumbed down. The puzzles for example are far less challenging. Platforming puzzles are much more direct then in the previous game and require a great deal less thought about what path you’re taking. Anything else normally boils down to activating your sixth sense ‘Eagle Vision’ and targeting shiny things until one of them turns out to be the right one.

Part of the reason Assassin’s Creed 2 and Brotherhood were so interesting was because Ezio was interesting. Altair, though an indisputable badass, was not a particularly compelling character. Desmond, despite having four games worth of character development, still might as well be a tub of paint or better yet, non-existant. Alternate segments about Altair or Desmond too often break up the main story surrounding Ezio. These bits are perfectly entertaining but they’re incongruous and they can drag you away from what you were doing. It’s like being a baby again, and having your mum come over and pick you up out of your sandbox. She puts you on the swings and you’re thinking, ‘don’t get me wrong mum, I like swings. But I was having fun in my sandbox. I’ll come and play on the swings when I’m ready.’ If you felt like I did that Assassin’s Creed 2 and Brotherhood provided you with a huge amount of freedom, get ready to feel like that’s been taken away a little bit.

For some reason these days, big releases have to come in threes. I suppose initially it seemed like a good duration to develop a story arc. But I’m sure Ubisoft had no intention of making an Ezio trilogy until Assassin’s Creed 2 was so well received. There would have been nothing wrong with adding another chapter and then continuing with the emotional story of Desmond ‘Vanilla’ Miles but apparently that just wasn’t enough. The result is a game feels like its desperately trying to find something other than Ezio to justify itself. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to syndrome number two – ‘trilogy syndrome’.

Lets take bombs as an example. Bombs are fun – that’s one of the video game Ten Commandments right there. And I’m more than happy for this game to have bombs in it. But when none of the gameplay mechanics have changed, you realise that actually, you don’t need any bombs. If there were no bombs in this game, I would still be running around stabbing people and throwing guards off roofs. I wouldn’t be thinking, ‘this game would be great if it had bombs…’.

The same is true for other additions. Tower defence, slow motion executions… its all fine and at times it adds to the experience. But none of it justifies the making of a third outing for Ezio.

I am not necessarily saying this is a bad game, because it isn’t. It is still as fun as it ever was to cause mayhem and all the visceral qualities of Assassin’s Creed are still present. Once again you can build your very own brotherhood of Assassin’s. Although not as customisable as I was hoping you can train your recruits all the way up to becoming masters of your Assassin Dens and even send them overseas to look after other cities for you. For those RPG fans among you, it provides enough to satisfy your levelling up addiction.

If anything could justify this game, it is the multiplayer. I played A LOT of Brotherhood multiplayer and though it was buggy and infuriating at times, I thought it was a whole load of fun. Revelations’ multiplayer has made huge strides on that in Brotherhood and the whole experience feels cleaner and well thought out. Much like the improvement between Assassin’s Creed and Assassin’s Creed 2, Ubisoft have done a great job recognising the problems of the original multiplayer and improving upon them. You now get much better rewards for being sneaky and taking your target by surprise. Old game modes like Wanted and Manhunt are still around, along with a slew of new ones. Quite honestly, if you enjoyed the multiplayer in Brotherhood, you’ll love Revelations.

Believe it or not, I still like this game and I still like Assassin’s Creed. But Ubisoft are in serious danger of flogging a dead horse and one senses that they are close to undoing a lot of the great work they have done since Assassin’s Creed 2. Like Ezio Auditore, Assassin’s Creed: Revelations is an old dog without any meaningful new tricks and Ubisoft should plan their next move very carefully if they want to retain the franchise’s immense popularity.

Film Review: The Thing (2011)

“I can say that going through this experience that no studio would make a film like ‘Alien’ or even Carpenter and Lancaster’s version of ‘The Thing’ today. There is a sense of impatience from the audience to just get to whatever it is they paid their ticket for”.
Eric Heisserer. Screenwriter of The Thing (2011). (interview for Bloody-Disgusting)

There’s the rub, in fact not only don’t they make them like they used to, they never will. Modern action scenes have become musical numbers and horror movies have become action pictures. Case in point, John Carpenter’s ‘original’ (itself a remake of the Howard Hawk’s produced The Thing from Another World) The Thing is a paranoid thriller from the generation of horror that gave us Jaws, Alien, An American Werewolf in London and A Nightmare on Elm Street. A generation that we’ve been looking to in a state of paralysing nostalgia, filmmakers and audiences fawning in unison over superficial details. A monster design, a scene or a line that has become assimilated into pop culture. Superficial details that are then cynically replicated for limited attention spans, all whilst the notion of competent filmmaking is disregarded or ignored. Studio meddling isn’t a new phenomena (just ask Terry Gilliam) but it rears its ugly head in the era of the ‘re-movie’.

“The chameleon strikes in the dark” is a line from the original film and a demonstration of everything wrong with the creature here. Our introduction to it sees’ the monster bursting out of a block of ice, leaving a rectangular shape behind. Presumably it left a Wile E Coyote-style outline in the ceiling too. Occasionally a sequence may get your hopes up by echoing the raptors in the kitchen from Jurassic Park, before abruptly interrupting itself with a monster lunging through a window. All of this made more intolerable by Marco Beltrami’s incessantly thunderous score, flagging up every moment and shock like a third rate Elliot Goldenthal. Beltrami – who scored Terminator 3 – has a history of following up tense, underplayed synth soundtracks with orchestral bombast.

The creature effects here are predominantly comprised of rubbery CG (the work of creature veterans Tom Woodruff Jr and Alec Gillis going largely unnoticed here), CG is not the problem however. The problem comes when each subsequent monster is the same chomping maw mutated from someone’s chest cavity. Basically a big mouth on legs, perfect for protracted scenes of running, jumping and screaming at the top of its little thing lungs. None of the creatures here share any of the simple horrific ingenuity of the sight of Wilford Brimley’s hand merging with Donald Moffat’s face. At times it’s hard to discern whether the filmmakers are even aware of the concept of ‘body-horror’. The irony being that the absence of the infinite possibilities of CGI enabled the most creativity. Thus, the bar is never raised. Particularly problematic given typical franchise standards.

The cast are at least game. Mary Elisabeth Winstead leads a reliable if unremarkable team of thing-fodder. Her performance thankfully registering as closer to Jamie Lee Curtis than simply retreading Sigourney Weaver’s hallowed ground. The performance is one thing, the writing is another however. The character may not be an item of lust or a rote damsel, but she has no foibles. She is always right and never does anything reckless, in fact a romance or another character lusting after her would have gone some way to enlivening the proceedings.

The film hasn’t the creativity, insight or the gumption to introduce anything new to the notion of this story. It cynically recycles without inventing and when it runs out of ideas, it resorts to screaming at you. What actually makes this film worse is that it plays it so safe that it never even jumps the shark. Put it this way, at least we had a reason to see and hate Alien Vs Predator: Requiem. All in all, this Thing belongs in a landfill.

Review: Mario Kart 7

Mario and friends are back on the track for another entry in their ever popular go-karting series. If you’re a Mario Kart fan like myself and have been playing since the SNES, then you’ll immediately notice that Mario Kart 3DS has been labeled with the number 7. None of the other Mario Kart tiles have ever had a number behind it and normally were given a name relating to the platform, for example Mario Kart Wii.  Nintendo have stated the number 7 means it’s lucky, but has their luck ran out, or does it head straight to first place? Find out in this review.

The Mario Kart gameplay still follows the traditional styling of previous titles, keeping a lot of the same features seen before, but this time there are a number of newly added gameplay mechanics. This includes several new playable characters such as; Wiggler, Queen Bee, Lakitu and Metal Mario, and even the ability to play as your Mii. It’s a weird choice of added characters in my opinion, and it’s a shame that a lot of the other characters have disappeared. Character such as Bowser JR, Dry Bones, Toadette, Funky, Dry Bowers and Waluigi are nowhere to be found. It’s not a big issue for me, but if they had included these characters, alongside the new additions, the roster would’ve been even greater than ever before. With the new characters comes a big new customisation feature, allowing you to modify your kart before each cup/online race. You can choose from different vehicle bodies, tyres, hang-gliders and parachutes. When selecting between bodies and tyres, the choice you make will affect the kart stats, including handling on certain surfaces, acceleration and other aspects that can affect your race. With the new added hang-gliders and parachutes, it now possible for players to glide through the air after hitting certain ramps, collecting coins in flight or finding new routes that can only be reached while airnourne. You can now also dive underwater for the first time in the series, opening up alternative routes on a number of the race tracks.

Just like any other Mario Kart title, you’ll have to participate in multiple different cups to unlock more race tracks and characters. There are 32 courses to progress through, including many fan favourites from previous games.

During each race, you’ll come across items that can be used to your advantage. While the item boxes may appear to be random, they are infact influenced by what position you are in. If you’re in last place, you will often gain items that will help you boost or progress back up the field, these can include mushrooms or, more drasically, a blue shell, allowing you to hit the player in first place. The reverse occurs when you’re further up the field. For exmaple, if you’re in first place, you will often be given defensive items such as bananas, and you can use these to hold your place at the head of the pack. This hasn’t changed since the previous titles, and still remains as a good formula, but for me, the Blue Shell can become a little tiresome, especially on the last lap of a race which you may have been leading for some time.

While Mario Kart 7′s gameplay won’t be suprisingly to long time fans since it hasn’t changed dramatically, in my opinion it doesn’t really need to. The 3DS version does however implement some new features which utilise the system itself. For a start, the 3D effect does make the experience a little more interesting, and I noticed the best use of this while drifting round corners or gliding. If driving in 3rd person isn’t ideal, you can now opt for a first person view, a first for the series. This also gives you the opportunity to use the 3DS as a steering wheel, working surprisingly well with the gyroscope functionality, however when playing with the 3D turned on it does cause a lot of issues and makes it very hard to play due to the 3D being all over the place.  The controls overall are tight. The gameplay may looks simple, but it’s had some extra depth added to it. These new additions are quite varied, but a couple of noticeable ones include the ability to drag items behind you to use as shields, and also you can tap the right bumper mid air to gain extra speed when you land. Overall though, it does feel quite similar to the previous 2005 Mario Kart DS, but this time with upgraded visuals and 3D.

The multiplayer is back but it seems that Nintendo haven’t changed much of what was already there in previous titles. You still can’t speak online or even write messages to your friends in lobbies. This won’t be a big issue for some, but I personally like to communicate with friends or other players during the races as it makes it more of a social gaming experience instead of more of a competitive one. Again, it’s not a major issue just something I am quite picky about.

If you get bored of just racing online then you’ll be happy to know that Nintendo have brought the Battle Mode from the Wii version into Mario Kart 7. The areas are very similar, featuring big open maps, giving you the opportunity to take on your friends and take them down. The life/balloon system has changed however. Oringially players were only allowed 3 balloons before being knocked out of the race, but this is now different as everyone gets to play for the entire match. This has changed the mode quite drasitically, as it’s now more of a point scoring system than a survival game mode. It’s a good change though and works well, but I would of liked the option to choose between either gameplay variant. Coin Runners is another battle mode in the arena, reminding me of something similar in the previous Wii title.  The aim is to race around the battlefield collecting coins, but be careful, as they can also be lost if you are hit by other players, and the winner is determined by the number of coins collected.

Overall

Mario Kart 7 is a great addition to the series, as it’s one of the best Mario Kart titles out there even with its few flaws. I found the change of characters fresh, but a bigger roster would have been nice. The 3D effect works really well when using the standard controls, but as seen in other games, when using the gyroscope, it can break the 3D effect somewhat. What I liked most about the title was the number and overall variety of race tracks. The customisation is great and hopefully will return in future releases, though I am sure the multiplayer will keep players busy until then, especially given the replay value that this title offers to 3DS owners.

Review: Skyrim

Bethesda Softworks are finally back with the epic arrival of their fifth instalment of the iconic and critically acclaimed franchise; The Elder Scrolls, and with such an extensive amount of brilliant and fantastical content found within, I wouldn’t so easily count on a simple walk in the park… or even a run in the park for that matter.

200 long years have passed since the horrific events of Oblivion and still remnants of instability can be found all across the empire. The heroic and secretive Blades have all but faded into legend and the High King of Skyrim has been assassinated bringing about a new age of civil war between two fearless enemies that has continually raged throughout the land causing all manner of blood-shed and social fallout. With almost no contact from the surrounding kingdoms, cities stand alone and their people step lightly not daring to make any rash decisions in fear of deadly retaliation. But amongst the pandemonium lies a larger threat that has awoken from its fiery slumber. The ancient dragons of old have once again mysteriously returned to the frozen peaks of Skyrim bringing with them a viscous shroud of fire and ash that has engulfed the farthest reaches of the kingdom renewing the fear and hostility within its people and ultimately entangling their own fates with that of your own.

But the deathly arrival of the dragons has also given life to a speck of light upon the darkening landscape – a ray of hope which may be the answer that the world has been looking for. The mythical Dragonborne whose hearts beat with the courageous blood of the dragons are an equally ancient people who harness the true power of the dragon language after Akatosh; the high deity of the Nine Divines instilled his blood within Tamriels greatest known Emperor over seven centuries ago. As the last remaining Dragonborne, you are Skyrim’s only hope in solving the mystery behind the return of the dragons and halting the age-old prophecy foreseeing a colossal winged shadow soaring above the smouldering ruins of the empire.

Like its predecessors, Skyrim is host to a monumentally large open world which is just begging to be explored in any way you see fit. Along your way however you quickly pick up a number of quests (story, faction or miscellaneous) that will no doubt soon build up in your quest log which you can freely journey through at your leisure. This simplistic yet intricate style implemented within the game opens up a huge amount of customisation options for the player from the moment you start the game since you’ll naturally play the way you want and because there are no linear restrictions holding you back you are free to be who you want to be and do… you guessed it… exactly what you want to do. You will also notice that certain quests (namely story and faction related quests) will react to your play style and act accordingly which will actively alter your progression through the game making it so you’re not always making the same choices and receiving the same outcomes.

From the start of the game you will almost instantly start gaining skills in various divisions depending on your play style. If you’re more of a warrior type, you will likely earn skills in heavy armour and one or two-handed weapons where as if you prefer the arcane you will level up certain skills such as destruction, conjuration and restoration etc. However, while previous titles forced you to make certain choices that would forever alter your character throughout the course of game, choosing certain styles ingame won’t limit your capacity to experiment with each skill as you are free to use different techniques and abilities to fit your preferences without being held back by contradicting perks. The main levelling system works in a similar fashion but will ask you to choose from three governing perks that each dictate certain skills in order to mature your character into the way you want them, mage, warrior or otherwise.

The population of Skyrim can easily be described as the personality behind the game for the reason that such a hugely diverse and colourful palette of characters and races provide such a genuine and memorable experience that can be found throughout the game, be it from casually walking through a town marketplace listening to the banter that fills the air to eavesdropping in on some unknowing necromancers plotting their next foul experiment. But being the surly and hardened people they are, the weather beaten inhabitants of the frozen landscape won’t always greet you with the welcoming remarks Oblivion fans would come to expect. Instead you are host to a variety of mean, humorous and darn right strange social reactions from the people you meet in your travels which always helps in adding that extra bit of realism especially with such a huge amount of voice actors that have each perfectly brought with them a number of demeanours that they have infused with various characters throughout Skyrim.

With such a massive selection of spells, weapons and armour to choose from, you may find yourself endlessly fiddling about trying to find your favourite combinations depending on their stats, enhancements or even just looks. While past titles limited your adventurous endeavours with restricting combat choices that made little room for varying fighting styles, Skyrim however offers up and endless amount of customisation options giving you the ability to not only now duel wield weapons and magic but combine both the limitlessness of the arcane with the deadliness of blades, hammers and war-axes giving you the ultimate edge over the battlefield. The same also applies for the many armour and clothing types found throughout, offering up a number of bonuses and enhancements that can boost magica, defence or any of your skills.

That said, you won’t have to endlessly search around for these perks and enchantments as Bethesda has made a great job of implementing a vast amount of intricate crafting, enchanting and alchemic abilities into the game that open up a huge array of options and paths in order to improve your character in any and every way you want. Whilst crafting you’re able to perform a number of actions such as creating armours and weapons with certain metals and even improving them through a series of stages from their original state all the way to legendary. While these basic augmentations are all well and good, you can always go a step further by enchanting them with the infinite amount of improvements ranging anywhere from better combat or stealth abilities all the way to heightened stamina, magica or health. While not so directly involved in combat as the others, Alchemy plays an equally large role within the game as you are able to create a huge amount of potions and poisons serving you in many different ways such as regeneration to improved abilities and even to helpful perks like water breathing or detect life.

Another great addition to Skyrim is the introduction of the intriguing Dragon Speak commonly known as a Thu’um allowing you to utilize a range of special abilities such as force push, fire breath, familiar summon etc, in the form of a shout similar to the mighty roar of the dragons. The so-called World Walls that teach you of these shouts can be found throughout Skyrim each with a new helpful and alluring ability. However, being a Dragonborne won’t simply allow you to snatch them up as you please as you must first consume the souls of the dragons that soar across the landscape which will undoubtedly provide you with some epic battles throughout your adventures.

With more than double the amount of locations in Skyrim as there are quests, you will no doubt find yourself  travelling through a number of varying environments, such as vast open fields to rich green forests to blizzard ridden mountain peaks with each perfectly detailing real life environmental conditions in stunning authenticity. And whether you are travelling on foot or on the back of a horse you’ll always be able to gaze upon the endless landscape (unless you fast travel of course) before you unknowingly stumble upon a derelict ruin or small town or maybe even an entire kingdom depending on if you have become unknowingly bewitched by the sheer beauty found throughout.

The enchanting visuals Bethesda have injected upon the lands of Skyrim have come a long way from the simplistic and primitive design methods of Morrowind and Oblivion and so in this day and age have been given a lot more freedom to deliver a great deal of imaginative and ingenious ideas that they have been able to intertwine within the game’s epic narrative. The many sights of Skyrim are truly a thing of beauty as you travel within the various dynamic settings through sun, snow and rain whilst gazing upon the rich endlessness of the landscape and picking up on the many details that dot the scenery filling you with pure wonder and amazement as each environment actively plays a monumental role in the game as everywhere from the misty snowbound peaks of High Hrothgar to the sunny grasslands of Whiterun Hold provide you with an alluring and exiting experience that will drive you to scour the lands in search of the infinite beauty that oozes from every inch of the game.

Nevertheless, with so much going on visually, the game can sometimes struggle to keep up as you may experience some slight lagging here and there especially for you PS3 gamers which is due to the massive amount of information being processed at that time. You may also find that the player menu, while looking fairly simplistic and easy to use, equally uses a fair bit of processing power and can sometime lag for a very small time. Hopefully these small but unavoidable errors will be fixed with the next update but for now we must simply endure.

But the intricate detail found throughout not only shines through the scenery and varying interfaces but also in its inhabitants, and in the knowledge that Skyrim is an unrelenting and brutal wilderness where survival of the fittest truly comes into play, the people that have civilized the kingdom look exactly how you would expect them to. You’ll soon find that this bunch of burly and mostly muscle-bound people covered in animal furs and heavy armours are perfectly acclimatised to the environment ultimately making them feel like another great addition into this living environment. And so combining the masterfully crafted character models with the elaborate personality’s and backgrounds that embody each and every one of them – the people of Skyrim are clearly a force not to mess with.

Known widely across the world for the many brilliantly crafted and awe-inspiring pieces of music found throughout the franchise, The Elder Scrolls name could have easily built its own success from the illustrious music alone, and Skyrim is no different. Continuing to complement the franchises legendary themes with its dynamic and engaging scores, Skyrim’s massive soundtrack acts as the life-blood of the game that flows unfaltering through every dungeon, forest, mountain and city providing you with a greatly immersive experience that can turn a simple stroll in the woods into an intense battle of wits and courage as you come face to face with a monstrous werewolf. Very few games today can provide such a variety of feelings portrayed through the music as Skyrim can since every second spend adventuring the land makes you truly feel like a part of the world around you. Each soundtrack that plays throughout has been perfectly integrated within every event and scenario which works to bring out your feelings and emotions in the best possible manor ultimately immersing you further into the game.

With around 5 years in development and the legendary name of its predecessors to live up to, the ingenious minds at Bethesda have well and truly gone to no end in filling Skyrim to the point of insanity with its unimaginable amount of quests, characters, items and locations to interact with that will undoubtedly keep your adventurous flame burning bright for months and even years to come. The few slight errors ingame were a little disappointing given the amount of time in development but are soon lost in thought due to the sheer amount of thrilling and engorssing content that shines throughout. Each and every aspect of the game be it from the thrilling narrative, stunning visuals or huge sense of freedom, does a staggering job of bringing pure life to the lands of Skyrim by providing you with a living breathing environment to interact with and in by doing so helps to create an unbelievably immersive experience that will no doubt continue long after finishing the game.